TIME TO BLOSSOM

 

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He care for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

This subject is near and dear to my heart and is still a very tender place in my heart because I am constantly evaluating and reevaluating this issue and it will continue to be something I have to trust God with and seek His will in. Dancer or not, we all have change in our lives, times when we have to move on from one thing to the next. I write about it because I know that there are so many dancers out there who struggle with this same issue: life after dancing.

There is a beauty, a physicality, and a fulfillment that comes from performing and being on the stage, a satisfaction that comes from work, sweat, tears, and dedication, a craving for this class, rehearsal, performance schedule and cycle. God wired us this way: with the need to create, move to beautiful music, and touch hearts with the magnificence of telling a story with our bodies. It is a gift, no doubt about it. It is a passion that is the driving force behind what we do. But there is a reality that comes along with it. Our bodies age, they get injured, they get tired, they get burned out, or our souls continue to have an empty void. Dancers know there will be a time (and every dancer is different) when we have to move on from our dancing and performing careers. It is a difficult transition for most because dancing is a relationship that we have dedicated so much time and effort to. The thought of stopping can be heart-wrenching, a devastating loss, a hole in our hearts that longs to be filled.

I want to encourage you whether you are at that point in your career or you are just beginning your career. Jesus, IN THIS DETAIL OF YOUR LIFE TOO, is ready, waiting for you to fall back in His loving arms…..to catch you, carry you, lift you, and help you through this transition. How sweet this thought…..just when you think the peak of your life is over because your dancing might be over, He sees it differently and wants you to as well. The end of a professional dancing career can be, if you will let it and let Him in, be the beginning of a new, productive, and full life. He wants to use your experiences, talent, skill, and knowledge to touch more lives, to reach more people, to pour into others, and to create more beauty. I know how tender and sensitive this issue is, and yet, I found out, no one really talks about it in the dance world and there is definitely no cookie cutter answer. Some dancers retire literally because they are in their forty’s and they know it is time and that their bodies cannot handle the workload. Some retire because of injury. Both reasons are hard because your body needs to stop, but your heart and soul do not want to. Some literally cannot find a job dancing professionally. Some are decisive in their decision, some deal with angst about it for years.

I always wanted to have children. The three b’s were always something I prayed about: Brian
(my sweet husband), ballet, and babies…how is this going to all go together? At age twenty five, I was pregnant with my first child, and I thought I was finished dancing. Having that sweet baby in my arms made that idea less of a shock. But I still felt sad that dancing may be over for good. God had different plans. I got to come back to the stage. Three years later, baby number two came along, and I thought I was finished dancing for sure. God had different plans. I got to return to the stage again. One year later, our ballet company folded, and I found out I was pregnant with my third son! Talk about an emotional roller coaster! I thought for sure I am finished, but I got to do three seasons of Nutcracker the following three years, and the little company that could, is still going, so opportunities to perform are still coming!

With this subject, I tread carefully, because I know that each and every dancer has a different, unique path. But my point is, is that GOD HAS A PLAN AND A PATH FOR YOUR LIFE. He aches to comfort your heart. He knows you love dancing and performing and He wants to guide you with His gentle hand. I do not know your situation or what the answer is for you personally. But this I know, and I have to remind myself of daily: First, it is okay and normal to feel sad and a void in your heart when you think of letting go of dancing. Secondly, pray to Jesus about this issue. He may guide you to focus on being with your children, to write a book, to be a ballet mistress or an artistic director of a company, to teach ballet, to choreograph, to go back to school, to go a totally different direction totally unrelated to dance or to just enjoy the freedom of a lighter schedule and just wait and be. He loves you, He made you, and He will use this longing and this ache to draw you closer to Himself and to shape you and form you more into the person He created you to be. Trust in His power and capabilities.

“Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4

Do not be discouraged. Have you ever had a plant in your backyard that just looks like it is done? It looks dry, thirsty, frail, and finished. I have a rose bush that I almost threw away because it just did not look like it was going to flourish. I started watering it more regularly and making sure it was getting enough sun. I didn’t give up on it. It started blooming beautifully right when I thought it was finished. You are like that rose bush. You have buds and seeds that are waiting to sprout and bloom. Trust in Him and trust He has a plan for your life, for this phase of your life, this season of your life. The best years of your life are not over because dancing is over. It’s a new beginning! Sometimes, when I feel that angst, I literally have to stop and count my blessings. Look around you and see all the blessings right in front of you. I just look at those three precious little faces (okay, four really if you count my sweet husband) and I remember, this is what it is all about! So be encouraged that God wants to help you with this issue too, and if you are still dancing, enjoy every minute of it!

Prayer: “Jesus, thank you that You fill that void in my heart like nothing else does. Please fill me and liberate my heart from any ache and stress I feel about this issue.”