MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL

For dancers, the mirror is part of the gig. As I reflect back over my dancing years, I realize that it is quite normal as dancers to check ourselves in the mirror for all the wrong reasons. The mirror is there to help us correct our lines and movement, but too often, the mirror becomes a measurement of how we look…how we measure up compared to other dancers…and how we feel about ourselves.

A totally normal moment in the studio that would probably seem totally ridiculous to an outsider looking in is this: as dancers we check how we look over and over and over. I saw it in myself when I was dancing full time somehow thinking that if I kept checking, kept striving for perfection, that somehow all the checking would add up to…beauty! I watched dancer after dancer after dancer peek in the mirror to see how they looked, if their leotard was just right, if their hair was just right, and if their warm-up gear was positioned just the right way. Oftentimes I would wonder if it was just me or did any other dancer feel that this was just a strange phenomenon. But as dancers we kind of just roll with it.

In my experience, all the checking depletes. All the checking distorts. All the checking only diminishes any confidence that is left. True, sometimes looking in the mirror builds a dancer’s confidence, but too often, it knocks her down. So what do dancers do? It’s really a hard place because the mirrors in the studio aren’t going anywhere. The mirrors are excellent tools for working on corps de ballet work, perfecting steps and movement, and checking to make sure our lines are just right. But when the mirror becomes the enemy to our confidence, it’s time for a perspective check.

I always thought that when I turned thirty (that was seven years ago!) that my confidence would magically stay afloat. I somehow thought that I would suddenly outgrow those yucky feelings of insecurity with how I looked or how I felt about my body. I thought that when I blew out the candles on my 30th, that somehow I would feel totally comfortable in my own skin. I noticed that that mirror checking can just as easily carry over into real life. (as opposed to dancer life). And the selfie situation doesn’t help. I think of this younger generation coming up behind me…the focus on appearance. Uggggg…it gets my heart beating faster for you…for you to know that just because we live in a world of mirrors and pictures everywhere doesn’t mean we can’t be secure, confident women. You were meant to be a secure woman.

Maybe you are feeling drained by the constant focus on the outward stuff and today I want to pour in some truth for the inside of you…the part of you that longs for truth, for relief from the world’s ways….here’s my small attempt….

God wants you to be confident in who He made you to be, but in order to fully embrace this confidence, there is a letting go that needs to happen. When we let go of all the checking…whether it’s checking the ballet mirrors, the bathroom mirrors, the reflection in the window, the feed on social media…when we let it go, our hearts scramble first because it’s so different from what they are used to. But then our hearts are free to focus on the only thing that is pure and true…on our Maker, God Himself. As we let go of focusing on and worrying about how we look our minds and hearts BREATHE, come up for air, and look up! God invites us to focus on Him…to be God-conscience instead of self-conscience. He invites us to let it all go…let all the worry, and measuring up, and pressure to be perfect go…and to let Him consume that space. He longs for us to let Him consume the space and the time and the energy we spend on the focus of how we look on the outside, and to let Him transform us from the inside.

Here’s something else I want you to know…it’s possible! Yes, even in a world of mirrors, trends, and keeping up with perfect! It’s possible because He’s God, and nothing is impossible with Him. I want to note here…this girl loves a new outfit here and there…I used to ask for new leotards for every birthday…I love to look cute for my husband! God wants us to have fun with those things! He’s not asking us to be out of style, y’all! But He does long for our security to be so IN HIM so that we are not shaken every time we feel imperfect.

We are most beautiful when our eyes are off ourselves and looking to our Maker for our security. And this thing is rocking my world this week…we can trust Him with our lives, our dreams, and our hearts NO MATTER WHAT. Our security is in the Rock and because of that, we can have rock solid security. I am not saying it will be easy. We will have to make some choices about where we let our eyes rest. I love this about the Holy Spirit: He will guide us if we ask. He will guide us through these choices…to look there or look here…choices of where we can rest our focus. And when we choose His ways and to focus on Him instead of the mirror, to focus on what He says about us instead of what the world says about us, it becomes this dance…this dance of listening to Him, walking with Him, and asking for His guidance. And dear one, when we stumble and mess us, His grace is there to catch us and pick us right back up.

Daughter of the King, I want you to know this today, God sees you as beautiful and His opinion is all that matters. Be the one to be different. Be the one to not overcheck. And remember that as you uncheck the mirror, uncheck the phone, uncheck the pictures, your heart is free to fully check into Him. And a heart fully checked into Him is a heart of a secure woman.

Am I speaking anyone’s language today?

“How lovely is Your dwelling place.” Psalm 84:1

You are His dwelling place, dear one.