DANCING – WHEN YOU WONDER IF IT’S WORTH IT

“For He Himself is our peace.” Ephesians 2:14

I recently had a sweet reader email me with some tough questions…questions that I have faced in the dance world as well. She is at a place in her ballet training where she is wondering if it is worth it. Ballet is all-consuming for her. She trains at least five days a week. She mentioned that she loves dancing, but at the same time, she’s wondering if it’s worth all the effort, time, and energy it takes to become a professional. She asked, “Is it really worth it?!  Do I even want it enough…..Should I just have a normal life??”

I can tell she is a talented and lovely dancer, and she has had some amazing opportunities to train in amazing places.  She even asked, “Why would God give me all this if He didn’t want this career for my life?”…

Oh how I know the depth and heaviness of her struggle. Maybe some of you are in a similar place, wondering if it’s time to give up dancing or wondering if it’s worth all the effort…

The hard days in the studio are just that….hard. Those were always the days I considered giving up. When ballet was going great, when I felt good, when I was dancing roles I enjoyed…I loved it! But the harder days always challenged my emotions. There were many times in the studio when I did not feel good about my body. The pressure on a ballerina to be thin, toned, and picturesque took its toll on my mind and heart many times and often I would want to escape and be free to wear normal clothes….something baggy and loose! The quest for perfection in ballet would often make me feel like it wasn’t worth the effort because I would never reach perfection. I often craved to be a “normal” person. I thought about quitting many times. My encouragement to those of you who are wondering if it’s worth it and who are questioning whether or not to keep dancing or whether to give up would be this….(this is what I would tell myself now that I’m on the other side of making those decisions)

1. DON’T MAKE A RASH DECISION. Talk to God about your emotions. Journal your thoughts to Him.

2. LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. Where are you in the rehearsal or performing process? A lot of times as dancers we LOVE the performing part, but we get frustrated during the rehearsal part. Notice where you are in the process.

3. NOTE WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR MENSTRUAL CYCLE. Seriously! This will make a difference in how you feel about your body and how you feel emotionally about dancing.

4. TAKE A BREAK. Give yourself grace to be gentle on yourself and take a break from class. Do something “normal”.

5. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE. If ballet is all you are doing, you are setting yourself up for burn-out. Find time for other things you enjoy, other passions or hobbies.

6. RECOGNIZE THAT ALL DANCERS HAVE SEASONS OF BURN-OUT. It’s normal. It’s real. Hang on when you feel burnt-out.

7. NOTICE WHAT OTHER FACTORS MAY BE AFFECTING YOUR ENTHUSIASM ABOUT IT. For me, it was sleep deprivation from being a new mom…sometimes it was an injury….is there anything going on outside of ballet that may be messing with your emotions?

8. TAKE ALL YOUR CONCERNS TO THE LORD. He will not let you quit before you are supposed to if you take your concerns to Him. When you give your questions to Him, He will show you what to do.

9. KNOW that God will give you peace about officially retiring when the time is right for you.

10. TALK TO SOMEONE YOU TRUST ABOUT YOUR CONCERNS. Sometimes just talking it out will help sort out some of your feelings and often times God will use someone to encourage your heart.

He is our peace. He offers us a peace that is so great, so deep, and so real, that we will know when we have tasted it. If you don’t have that peace about quitting dancing, then it’s probably not time to quit.

I don’t know when the right time to retire is for you. There is no magic formula for figuring out when it’s time for a dancer to stop dancing. Listen to the stirrings of your heart and take them to God. If your heart is stirring towards continuing dancing, take it to Him. If your heart is stirring towards stopping dancing, take it to Him. He knows the best path for YOU. He knows how long He wants you to keep dancing. He will keep pursuing your heart no matter what. He has pursued my heart so many times when I thought I was finished dancing. In this detail of your life, He cares, He knows, and He is there to walk you through the doubts, the ups, the downs, and joys of dancing. And know this, if you decide it’s time to stop…it’s okay! Sometimes we need to stop for a season, sometimes it’s for good….it’s okay.

I know it’s not an easy profession…blisters, pain, body-image dilemmas…it’s time consuming, it’s hard, it’s work…but you don’t have to decide it all right now. Take it one day at a time, one rehearsal at a time, one performance at a time. It’s a good place to be….wondering about this dancing thing. Some dancers hang on too tightly to their passion and wind up really hurt when it doesn’t work out. Hold it up to God and be willing to go wherever He leads you…whether it’s dancing or something else….because dear sister,

God’s plans for you are better than you can imagine and He tailor made them to fit you. To get there….

it’s a dance…

a dance of praying

a dance of trusting

a dance of waiting

a dance of listening

a dance of leaning on the One who longs to LEAD your life.

If dancing still brings you joy, hang on a little longer. If you miss it, consider it and consider those emotions. If you’re ready to move on, move on with God in His timing.

Prayer: “Lord, lead me through these emotions. Show me when it’s time to stop dancing. Help me look to You when my emotions tell me I want to give up. Help me take care of myself by staying balanced and recognizing what other factors may be affecting my emotions. Help me trust Your plan for my life and for my dancing. Make your path for me clear to me. Help me dance one step at a time.”