WAITING IN THE WINGS…OF LIFE

 

I try to take breaks from writing my little blog posts, but then YOU come to mind. I try to “quit” blogging in the name of “too busy”, “too hard”, or “not making a difference.” But then I feel compelled. These moments come, and in faith, I am believing they are Holy Spirit-inspired moments, when I know, my fingers need to hit the keyboard. Tapping out the heart of what God is teaching me seems to pass the encouragement forward. And so I write. Even though it’s hard. Even though it’s time consuming. Even though sometimes I feel like it’s not making a difference. I write in faith.

So today, maybe someone out there needs this same message that my own heart needs today…

Waiting is hard. When you finally feel like you know what God has called you to do and so in faith, you do that thing, and then, in faith, the waiting begins. I just told my boys the story today of one of my waiting episodes when I was waiting on my oldest to be born. My own mom had always told me a story that in her waiting angst, she once ate a whole bag of peanut M&M’s because she was just simply frustrated that her baby had not come yet. I pulled a similar trick when I was waiting for Camp, my oldest to be born. I headed to my doctor’s visit, SURE that she was going to announce that Camp would be arriving “any day now”. Convinced, I happily trotted (or waddled) into my appointment. But she had news no where close to my hopes. Instead, she assured me that Camp would “go all the way to his due date.” Awesome. I felt my mom’s similar M&M pain. I headed home, and instead of home, I pulled into the frozen yogurt shop. I ordered my favorite white chocolate mousse with heath bar shiver, and kind of downed it. I was frustrated. I was tired of waiting. I was over the wait.

I’m sure between the yogurt shop and my house, somewhere in there, I realized that eating a whole bunch of frozen yogurt out of pure frustration, was probably not God’s idea of dealing well with the waiting. I am pretty sure I told God I was sorry. But that I was just tired of waiting. Uggggggg….

So I got to dilly dallying at home. In my waiting angst, I set about rearranging my living room furniture. I don’t know…just felt the need to rearrange. :) Later that afternoon, well, my water broke…

And later we headed to the hospital….

And later my sweet Camp was born….

A week early.

God knew all along.

Well, I am past waiting for my babies to be born. Thankfully they are here and growing so fast. They are 9, 6, and 5. Wow! Although I am not waiting on that kind of big stuff….I wait for other things…

Dreams to unfold.

Prayers to be answered.

Somedays, I handle the waiting super well! I typically accomplish all this stuff. I organize closets. I fold lots of laundry. I am intentional with my kiddos. I cook dinner. (and my hubby loves that and sweetly cheers on my cooking…bless him!) Somedays, I wait pretty well.

And then somedays, I pull a yogurt shop/M&M frustration stop. I just get anxious about the angst. The waiting. The unknown. Even yesterday, a sweet friend asked me if I was dancing this fall. I told her I am holding it up because I am ready to dance or ready to not dance. I told her I was in waiting mode with that. And she hit the nail on the head when she said, “You just need God to let you know which way it’s gonna be.” Right on. Yes!

Today, I didn’t do a great job of waiting. I was tempted to figure things out, make things happen, or get the ball rolling on my own. Doesn’t it seem easier sometimes to not wait on God? Doesn’t it seem easier to take the matter into our own hands? Doesn’t it seem easier to give up on God?

But then I remember….all the truth pours in….

Daughter, You are mine. Daughter, I am at work. Daughter, I have it all under control. You don’t have to plan it out. You don’t have to manipulate it into happening. Your job…surrender. Your job…let go. Your job…rest. Your job…trust.

It’s just that I have a really hard time doing that on some days.

Some days, being a dreamer is hard.

But then I remember…

Dreams bring me closer to my Father. Dreams make my heart dance. Dreams get me on my knees. Dreams cause me to seek after Jesus. Dreams remind me that God is sweet, and good, and fun, and powerful.

He’s got it. Sometimes we just need to be okay that we feel a little frustrated in the wait. It’s okay. You’re doing fine. :) Keep waiting. It takes big faith to wait.

What are you waiting for today?

“I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope.”

Psalm 130:5